Well, let's see... Rick was supposed to call me today, and didn't. Maybe because he has to borrow his friend's cell and his computer is broken, he didn't... but I hate that. I hate when a guy says they are going to do something, and don't. So now, I have that stupid paranoia of... did I do something wrong? Is something wrong with him? Fuck. I'm bad at this boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I like to know what is happening... I'm not controlling, my imagination just runs away with me when things go weird. I have never been in a healthy relationship, obviously, so I get all worked up and paranoid easily. I am bitching here, because I don't want to say the wrong thing to him. I am bad at this... I haven't had someone like me... forever really. So, I bitch here, and I don't get in trouble with him. Not that I won't communicate with him... just not in a weird paranoia kind of way. I am probably going to explode before he comes back, and comes here. I hate not being able to contact him. Stupid computer is broken, and he didn't pay to use the hotel phone in his room (he wasn't supposed to be here this long), so all I can do, is write a fucking email, and hope he checks it. Although, being male, I dont think he understands the whole "I should respond to all emails even though there is no reason to" concept. I'm just kidding, I just would love to hear from him everyday while he is still there. So, this is me having a breakdown. Fuck. Boys.