SPN - Winchesters.


So, my shoulder (left) has been acting up lately. I sorta was stubborn and ignored it until last night. Then it was like OMFG uncomfortable. So I went to the ER. I got some Xrays done and it turns out I sprained it and fractured it. NO FREAKING CLUE HOW. Like she came back and was like, did you fall? Um no. So yeah now I get to go to a orthopedic dr on Tuesday. NEVER a dull moment.
SPN - Winchesters.

Happy 4th...

Hope those of you who celebrate it enjoyed yourselves, and those of you who dont had a nice day. Me? I fell asleep right after dinner. I tell ya, I am a party animal :/
Calvin & Hobbes - Reality

Thoughts in the AM

Okay, I have made a decision... whoever came up with the statement "Its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all" has never been in love. Bullshit its better. Let's see, in one scenario you feel alone, but there is no sense of loss. The other, you yearn for that person constantly. Oh ya, that is so much better. :/ Its 6AM. I woke up not feeling great so I am going to try and catch some more sleep before I get up for the day. I went to bed at 10:00 last night. A resonable time? Me? Heh.

Anyhoo, off to try and crash. Later :)
Disney - Pumba

I wish...

I really wish I knew why... why all of this has happened. I keep finding emails and texts where he ends with "I'll love you forever." I just want to know why forever ended so soon. The worst part is... even though this all SUCKS... I'm not mad, I'm hurt and confused. I just want an explanation you know? Anything that would make my heart stop aching and yearning for him... anything that would help me not cry myself to sleep every night...
SPN - This Is Crap

Hello to all...

Yet another periodic update of my life. I understand if you dont want to read or respond, I've been a shitty friend.

Let's see... I last talked to Dan in November when he had to get away to deal with the death of his father. Havent heard from him since. He never read any of my messages and then two days ago he deleted his MySpace (our primary way to contact each other). Guess thats a hint. I honestly dont know what happened. I dont know how you can go from talking about marriage and children, to 2 months later not speaking at all. Needless t say, my heart is broken. I'm in that stage of crying at the drop of a hat and just wanting to hide away from reality. I really loved him... like the love that you hear people talk about and envy... it hurts even more then. I'm lost because every plan and dream that I have had has included him... and now this. I'm tired of being hurt. I dont want to end up alone... but I would rather be alone than deal with my heart feeling like it does.

Anyways work is okay... busy time of year. Nothing else going on. I miss him so much... the only thing I want to know, is Why....
  • Current Mood
Cat - Let me rest a little while

Happy Holidays

Just wanted to wish everyone on my list a very Happy Holiday. I know it was yesterday, but its better late than never. I think. Absolutely nothing to report on this end. I've been in a fairly bah-humbug mood. Thank you to those who sent cards. Wifey, thank you!!! :o) We had a white Christmas here. 10" of snow fell in this area. Supposed to snow later in the week too. Ended up sleeping almost all day. Got up for breakfast, came back downstairs, and woke up a bit before dinner. Um... yeah, thats all. Gonna go try and crash now...
Cat - Leaving...


I swear, I might as well be taking tic-tacs instead of depression medication. I am fucking depressed 24/7 and there is nothing I can do about it. Of course, I wonder how I would feel if I weren't on the medication. I dont want to be around anyone. Well, one person, and who the fuck knows what is going on there. I just want to sleep, cry, hide in a fucking hole until the day my phone rings. This is just... shit. I am so lost that I have no idea what I am doing. There is only one thing I want on this planet. You'd think that it wouldnt be so much to ask for.