January 12th, 2003

SPN - Winchesters.


So, I need to figure out my motivations...

I want to get in shape, I do... I just am not motivated. Chris and I were talking about it earlier today, and I just can't come up with go motivation. I don't want to make this about anyone else. If I am going to do this, it needs to be for ME, but that is not good enough I guess.

We are talking about going on a cruise, probably to Hawaii, for his 30th, as well as for my birthday... since they are so close and what not. I suppose if we decide to definately do it, then maybe that will be good enough motivation. I mean, if I am going to goto Hawaii... I might as well look good, right?

Although, in all honesty... I need to get a job I am happy with, then I can worry about making my life right. I am so miserable getting up and going to work everyday, that I could care less when I come home. All I want to do is go out and forget about my day, or sleep and forget about my life. I need to get the fuck outta BB. I hate it there. I should not make the schedule weekly, groaning b/c I have to work 40+ hours there. I am tired of the people... I swear to everything they are ganging up and getting dumber. "Yeah, do you have that new J-Lo movie? The Good Girl?" Jennifer Aniston you putz, but since they look so much alike, I can see where you got confused. Idiot.

Seriously, I am sooooo bitter. I don't like myself when I am there. I have been cleaning and doing projects just to keep from being near anyone. I hate them.

I need a job I can enjoy going to... I need a life I enjoy living. My job is draining my life energy, or someone equally as dramatic.

Oh well, I guess I need to continue my new job quest, then my "I need to get in shape" quest... then convince Chris that we REALLY DO need to go on this cruise. Good thing I have nothing to do in life ;)

  • Current Music
    Jets vs. Raiders
SPN - Winchesters.


Yeah, thats right... pffffft....

I love it when Chris comes over, because then I have someone to hang out with... but I hate it when he leaves... I feel so alone. I hate that. Thank goodness for Chester, thats all I've got to say.

He told me to goto bed when he left... apparently hanging out with him two days in a row is tiring... who knew?

I *so* don't want to goto bed... but I guess I will soon... its not like I have anything better to do.

I wish I had my own place though... I have good reasons why... or not, but it sounds good.

I am losing it, I think...

  • Current Music
    notta, nothing, tv is on mute...